intentional chaos.

Anyone looking from the outside in who may not know me well would likely say it looks like I'm having a breakdown, mid life crisis, lost, losing it, etc. I know this for a fact because I know you all talk and it always gets back to me. (Side note, maybe just try talking to ME, I'm a pretty open book). Why might they think this? Well, I'm selling most of what I own, moving to a small home in the middle of nowhere while also getting a new office space but mostly I'm showing up in the world in a very different light. New clothes, new boundaries, new energy. My plans and reasons for everything happening are changing by the day. None of this is because of a break down, it's more of a break through.

Do I know what I'm doing? Do I know my future vision for any of it? Nope, sure don't. It's being revealed to me as I go and as I keep saying yes, things keep getting bigger and better and more exciting. I thought I wanted to just move out of the city and out of the home that was part of my past. Turns out I have a really big vision for the property I found and what I can do with it. I thought I needed a small office in town to maintain a mailing address, turns out the universe wanted me to have a large, beautiful space in an epic location that will grow and evolve with all of my businesses for years to come. Oh yeah and once I own it an apartment space for myself and others. I thought just wanted to buy a few nicer pieces of clothing to replace some worn out things. Turns out I actually know who I am now and how I want to present myself in the world and as soon as I embraced that, I started showing up in a new way. And it has nothing to do with how I look, it's how I feel and the energy I bring because of it. And that attracts the right people in with the right energies.

Throughout this journey, I keep not getting what I want. And every time I start getting bummed or upset about not getting what I want, suddenly something is revealed that is a million times better that I couldn't have even envisioned. And then I'm really grateful for not getting what I wanted. I'm learning to trust that there is a much bigger vision for my life than what my current brain can even comprehend. So yeah, on the outside it looks a bit chaotic. It looks wishy washy because I do keep changing my mind and my plans. It's all evolving fast and furious and I'm here for it. I'm choosing to call this period of life intentional chaos. And I'm choosing to trust that the more I keep saying yes to what feels right even if I don't understand it, the more I'll keep getting whatever it is I need. And the more I keep shedding layers of the past, the more Ali version 2.0 can keep showing up in confidence and authenticity. And the less I look to others for ideas, opinions or validation, the more I learn to trust my gut and my intuition.

There's a reason I've started simply sharing what I'm doing and not asking friends or family for advice or even allowing them to voice their opinions. For the first time in maybe ever, I trust myself and the guidance from within. No one else needs to get it. I sure do appreciate the ones who keep cheering me on though. I have a feeling this wild ride is just getting started.

xoxo,

Ali

(A few people asked in the past about this sign off . . . the xoxo is a nod to my mom who signs everything with that, and Ali because that's just starting to feel more me than Alison)